YouTumor

Waiting for Godot is the English translation of En attendant Godot. If you have never read the tragicomedy by Beckett, I highly suggest it. What does any of this have to do with cancer? As too many of you know, cancer patients and their friends/family do a lot of waiting and the treatment path can seem cold and barren all too many times. Waiting for test results is the most maddening because it dictates the next move or path taken. I am waiting to hear about recent test results myself.

Let’s take a look at the characters from Waiting for Godot. The main characters are Estragon and Vladimir. Gogo and Didi can be looked upon as the cancer patient’s two sides: Estragon (Gogo) is ruled by the cancer; preoccupied by all the physical maladies. As where Vladidmir (Didi) is more philosophic and tries to think outside the box. But just as the physical side of cancer is feeling alright the philosophical side has to remind us of what we are still dealing with…“But perhaps Estragon’s forgetfulness is the cement binding their relationship together. He continually forgets, Vladimir continually reminds him; between them they pass the time.”

Enter Pozzo and Lucky. Some say they are just another representation of Estragon and Vladimir. I see the relationship as Pozzo being cancer and Lucky being the patient. Pozzo is a slave owner and Lucky is the slave. That is how a lot of patients feel about their cancer; they are owned by it but not defined.

The boys that come in from time to time are seen as angels in the play. Angels come in many forms to a cancer patient. An angel could be the friend that makes you laugh when you don’t feel like it, or could be the greeter at the cancer center that is so welcoming, or it’s your husband that picks up your Emend every Tuesday so you can have chemo on Wednesday. Whatever the form, we love them all!

Lastly is Godot. A vast majority of people agree that the never-seen character of Godot is God. I see Godot, in cancer treatment, as Cure. Still waiting, aren’t we.

Yes, blog fans. 3 months have passed in a flash and now it’s anxiety time again. Monday it’s back in the saddle again; not literally though. For those of you lucky enough to have never endured a gyno exam; you put your feet in stirrups (insert vague saddle reference here), scoot your butt down…no just a bit more, relax your legs and wait for the inevitable. Granted, I am happy to go through this because that means I am in my post-treatment phase. But I do have issues (don’t we all?); some hair loss, probable lymphedema and more. I also have had the occasional loss of perspective on my life during these past 3 months. Allow me to demonstrate…

I lost a mixed doubles tennis match the other night. I played pretty well but it was accentuated by two God-awful misses in a tie-break. That pissed me off and I drove home, scowling and sulking in a land of self-deprecation to find out that the ACE HEATING guys never flippin’ showed to fix our furnace. Once in the shower, warm and cozy with my crappy attitude, I realized that the sun will still rise in the east and set in the west and that I am DAMN lucky to be out on a tennis court; win or lose. Monday is only the middle part of my anxiety. It will build all weekend until my actual exam and then really kick in when the phone call comes back with the test results. Just like in school: I never minded the actual tests, just getting them back and seeing the results.